Healing is not linear.
Anonymous

Bombs away
But we're O.K.
Bombs away
In old Bombay
Stewart Copeland

It wasn't really my intent for this to become the Cancer Update Blog. There are other things to write about but this has been so seemingly all-encompassing that I've not spent much time thinking about them enough to put together a coherent thought stream about them, much less a decent blog post. Plus, I know that several of you use this as your only way to keep informed about what's going on with that aspect of my life so I'll gladly oblige.

Since last time, I [……]

Most of us never stop to consider our blessings; rather, we spend the day
only thinking about our problems. But since you have to be alive to have
problems, be grateful for the opportunity to have them.
Bernie Siegel

You left me barely breathin'
I've had time for the healing
Now I've opened my eyes
I'm showing signs of life
Journey — "Signs of Life"

Home, is where I want to be
But I guess I'm already there
I come home, she lifted up her wings
I guess that this must be the place
Talking Heads — "This Must Be The Place"

Home.

I [……]

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
— Mark Twain

Dear readers, this is a long overdue update. As much as I dislike the idea of procrastination, I have to admit that I have fallen into the trap of putting certain things off far too often and writing this post is among that lot. So I finally determined to get it done. Oh, who am I kidding — my to-do app has been screaming at me for a week now to do this and frankly, I just want it to shut up. This [……]

Life is not what it's supposed to be. It's what it is.
The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.
— Virginia Satir

I was going to hold off on writing anything more until I had put this health stuff to bed but this is apparently going to take longer than I anticipated. So I may as well document it, huh? To do that, though, I have to give a bunch of history. You can skip this part if you don't care.

A few years ago, I had a whitish area show up on the bottom and side of [……]

Just an FYI - the blog is on hold while I deal with a medical issue. Hopefully I'll be able to think clearly enough to write again in a couple months or so.

• I suppose it's a good thing that I keep looking for another hole in my belt that isn't there.
• In a related thought, I suppose it's time to buy a new belt.
• It's true what they say, there's no such thing as a snooze button on a cat that wants breakfast.
• With losing weight comes the need to buy some new clothes. I've recently purchased a couple pairs of button fly jeans which is what I wore in college. So far, this is as close as I've come to a mid-life crisis.
• Well, except for one misguided can of mousse about seven years back.
• And

Take all the time you need to heal emotionally.
Moving on doesn’t take a day, it takes lots of little
steps to be able to break free of your broken self.
— Tere Arigo

No matter how bad you want a person, if your hearts are
in two different places, you’ll have to pass and move on.
— Alexandra Elle

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.
— Lao Tzu

This post has been a long time in coming mainly, I think, because [……]

"Since it's traditional to break my New Year's resolutions, I think this year I'll try for being fat and lazy and see what happens."

"I can't believe it's been a whole year since I didn't become a better person."

"My New Year's resolution is to stop lying to myself about making lifestyle changes."

I don't do resolutions. At least, I don't do them well. Never have and likely never will. When I was younger I used to make resolutions as more of a gag. Like "eat more chocolate". Back then I still had a metabolism that could meet that challenge head on and [……]

The blackest night,
the darkest day,
cannot conceal it.

Neither can such fog,
like ethereal cotton
above the morning dew,
shroud it from notice.

No veil can disguise
nor jailer constrain
its aspect
for it has,
if none other,
one elemental virtue.

To be known.

In its design, that goal
so devoutly entrenched
pushes it ever upward,
tunneling out
from the depths of obscurity,
screaming its existence
into the heedless silence.

Clambering to the surface,
it breaks forth
into the light of
an unsuspecting mind,
there to shine sun-bright,
refusing to be dowsed again.

And he smiles and says,
"Hey, I was just thinking about you."

I almost wish there weren't a holiday season.
I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to
have a holiday season to emphasize it?
— Charlie Brown

Well, it looks like my annual holiday depression has arrived and this year it's kind of a doozy. For the past few days, I've been struggling to mentally keep my head above water. My standard joking line over the past few years has been, "Buy one divorce, get a depression free." Sadly, all good humor is rooted in truth and there have been times when it has been difficult to wake up and [……]