Erica loves me.

I don't understand why but she does. It's mind-blowing and sometimes overwhelming to think that this wonderful, beautiful woman wants to be with me. See she's amazing. As I said, she's beautiful, with golden hair and a smile that lights up my world and melts my heart. She incredibly intelligent and one of the most capable people I've ever known. I have absolutely no doubt that she can do anything and everything she puts her mind to and do it well. And she cares. About causes, issues, and people, she cares deeply and passionately. And these only scratch [……]

I barricaded myself and stared out the window, without seeing anything but my own unhappiness.
— Thomas Bernhard

I guess I was right. I didn't want to be and I hate myself for it but I don't know how to let myself be happy anymore.

Erica and I had been taking steps to rebuild our relationship in recent weeks and things were going seemingly okay. And then we had a fight – already a difficult thing to do effectively over such a distance – and for a couple of days we went round and round in a big jumbled mess of misunderstanding each [……]

Life improves slowly and goes wrong fast, and only catastrophe is clearly visible.
— Edward Teller

The reason lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn't there the second time.
— Willie Tyler

It's an awful thing to come face to face with the fact that your worst fears about yourself just might be true. That things you've tried to outrun and fight against turn out to be a lot faster and a lot stronger than you were prepared for. I've said before that, other than in college, I have never felt like I fit in much of [……]

Twenty-four little hours
Brought the sun and the flowers
Where there used to be rain
— Stanley Adams

Okay. To be fair, the full difference wasn't made in just twenty-four little hours but I really like the song and it speaks to the larger point. It's remarkable how your entire perspective can change in a very short time due to one thing.

A year ago — six month ago, even — I felt like I was just going through the motions of life. I was stable and functional. I wasn't in a particular depressed funk for the most part. But I just didn't [……]

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
— H. L. Mencken

Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
— Rabbi Julius Gordon

All things are difficult before they are easy.
— Dr. Thomas Fuller

In early September, Erica and I decided that we'd like to meet in person. For various reasons, however, the first feasible date was not going to be until the middle of October.  That started what may very well have been the longest forty-four days of my life. That time, though, gave us more time to get to [……]

You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.
— Paulo Coelho

Sometimes the most scenic roads in life are the detours you didn't mean to take.
— Angela N. Blount - "Once Upon an Ever After"

But maybe someday, my weird will be somebody else's perfect. And it will be absolutely amazing!
— phydeaux - "The Pursuit of Happiness"

A lot of the time, life is kind of predictable and gives you exactly what you expect. Sometimes…… not so much.

Occasionally, you're just walking along, minding your own business, and notice something out of [……]

Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so.
— John Stuart Mill

If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.
— Edith Wharton

The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
— Blaise Pascal

Sometimes you have to give up what you want in order to get what you need. [Ed. note — Gee, I guess I could have used a Rolling Stones quote for this one, huh? But that would have been pretty low hanging fruit and lately, I've been expecting a little better of myself. ;-) ] Anyhoo, what [……]

The only source of knowledge is experience.
Albert Einstein

La La, How the life goes on
John Lennon & Paul McCartney

You know, I'm gonna stop apologizing for taking so long between posts. Apparently, I'm immune to my own shaming so it's kinda pointless. Suffice it to say, however, that this time it was due to some technical difficulties and leave it at that. (That said, I really do want to post more frequently.)

This one's just going to be a quick life update but, during the aforementioned delay, I've been formulating my thoughts for a meatier (meteor?) post which will happen soon. [……]

Take all the time you need to heal emotionally.
Moving on doesn’t take a day, it takes lots of little
steps to be able to break free of your broken self.
— Tere Arigo

No matter how bad you want a person, if your hearts are
in two different places, you’ll have to pass and move on.
— Alexandra Elle

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.
— Lao Tzu

This post has been a long time in coming mainly, I think, because [……]

No words are spoken
A hand slips into a hand
Fingers intertwine
Thumbs caress each other in a familiar dance

No words are spoken
A head leans onto a shoulder
Crisp night air is breathed in
Contented sighs are breathed out

No words are spoken
An eye catches glimpse of a smile
Footsteps match footsteps
Lips tenderly touch hair

No words are spoken
And yet everything is said