Missing person alert

There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
     And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace he disappeared into the void and
     I've been searchin' for that missing person

He used to want to try to walk the straight and narrow
     He had a fire and he could feel it in the marrow
It's been a long time and I haven't seen him lately
     but I've been searchin' for that missing person

That is the chorus to a song I heard this morning on my way to work. There's nothing at all remarkable about that - I've heard it dozens of times before and usually end up singing along or drumming on the steering wheel. But this time it resonated with me in a way that it hasn't before. This time it summed up perfectly what I was thinking about at the time.

For the last few months, I've been feeling kind of lost. I feel like I'm just going through the motions - meandering through my spiritual life kind of aimlessly. I don't know why this is happening but it is one of the most profoundly frustrating feelings I've ever experienced.

Maybe it's because I'm not as involved in my church as I need to be. I have a great church. The people are warm, loving, generous and actively seeking God's will. There is a true heart for evangelism, maybe due to the number of seminary students we attract. Certainly there are problems and issues but it's about as close to the New Testament model of a church as I've seen and I have no desire to change.

I'd like to be able to take a more active role but, living 45 minutes away and having animals that need attention, it's not very feasible sometimes. I'm the type of person who doesn't want to be half-way involved. If I can't jump into something whole hog, I will usually not do it at all. I don't like having a commitment that I can't live up to fully. Maybe that's the problem - I don't know.

So the questions come. Is it better to be involved at a reduced level? Do we need to consider trying to find a church that's closer? Are there other options?

Of course it could be that I'm totally off base as to why I'm feeling lost in the first place.

Comments
Re: Missing person alert

Oh how I have been able to relate to these statements at various points in my life! I don't really have a solution for you. It sounds like you are at a church that you want to be at - i.e. it is good for you, your family, and your society. Probably the only thing I might say is... Do as you can, not as you can't. If you are honest with the others you are working with, state this is how you can participate, set up the boundaries, and it sounds like, from how you have described these people you worship with, everything will be okay. Not only does this allow you to participate as you can, it also releives the tension which tends to cause guilt when there are things outside of your bounds that you are unable to do. --- Thanks, David Pitts<a href="http://www.dpitts.com" title="http://www.dpitts.com">http://www.dpitts.com</a>